Dating in Zambia

Zambia is unique in history as a nation marked by its rich cultural diversity, with more than 70 ethnic groups each boasting distinct traditions and languages. Historically, it was part of the broader African colonial experience, being under British rule until gaining independence in 1964. Its journey from a colony known as Northern Rhodesia to a sovereign state, Zambia, involved a peaceful transition of power, a rarity in the context of African decolonization. This diversity and peaceful co-existence reflect in their cultural practices, including dating and courtship.

When it comes to dating culture, traditional norms still have a significant influence, particularly in rural areas. In many Zambian communities, formal courtship rituals are prevalent. These might involve a prospective partner presenting themselves to the girl’s family, demonstrating respect and intention. There’s also the practice of ‘Chilanga Mulilo’, where the bride showcases her cooking skills to the groom’s family, a unique cultural event within the context of their courtship and marriage rites. However, urban and younger populations have started to embrace modern dating methods like online dating, creating a fascinating blend of the traditional and the contemporary. Regardless of these changes, respect for family and elders continues to be a pivotal part of dating and relationships in Zambia, emphasizing the deeply communal spirit ingrained in Zambian society.

Social life and dating culture in Zambia are influenced by many traditions ranging from Bemba, Tonga, Chewa, Lozi and Nsenga practices to remnants of English colonial life. Due to the diversity of culture in Zambia it is impossible to characterize all Zambian people under a unified dating culture. Individual experiences may vary greatly depending on factors such as age, education, urban vs rural location, religion, and personal beliefs. However, we will attempt to share some specific aspects about dating in Zambia, which we feel are shared experiences by most Zambians.

The dating culture Zambia is shaped by a complex interplay of traditional customs, societal norms, and modern influences. Whether it is the formal courtship rituals of traditional societies or the casual dating practices of urban youth, each reflects the unique cultural context in which it occurs, offering a fascinating insight into the diversity and complexity of African social life.

Interesting facts about dating in Zambia

1. Lobola: In Zambia, there is a long-standing tradition called Lobola or bride price. It’s an act where the groom’s family presents various gifts and offerings, often including money or cattle, to the bride’s family. This is seen as a symbol of gratitude towards the bride’s family for raising her and a way to establish strong familial bonds.
2. Kitchen Party: Before a woman gets married, a unique bridal shower called a ‘Kitchen Party’ is often organized. This all-female event is where older women impart wisdom, share traditional cooking skills, and gift kitchen utensils to the bride-to-be.
3. Polygamy Acceptance: While not as prevalent as in the past, polygamy is still accepted in parts of Zambia, primarily based on traditional and cultural norms. Some ethnic groups traditionally accept polygamy as a social norm.
4. Chimbusu Conversation: In some traditional settings, an important pre-marital practice is the ‘Chimbusu.’ This is when a close elderly woman from the bride’s family gives advice on marital and family life to the bride.
5. Local Festivals and Dating: Zambia boasts over 20 annual traditional ceremonies. These cultural events provide opportunities for young people to meet, mingle, and initiate romantic relationships. The Kuomboka ceremony of the Lozi people is one such grand event, attracting people from all walks of life.
6. Matchmaking: Matchmaking is still quite common in Zambia, especially in rural areas. This could be in the form of arranged marriages or just setting up dates between eligible singles. However, this practice is less common among the younger generation and urban residents.
7. The Role of Dance: Dance holds a significant role in Zambian dating culture. Traditional dances are not only a way to express cultural identity but also a popular way for young men and women to attract potential partners. The Nyau dance of the Chewa people is one example.
8. Church Influence: The Church plays a big role in dating and marriage in Zambia due to the country’s large Christian population. It’s common for couples to meet at church events, and pre-marital counseling sessions are often a prerequisite for couples planning to get married in the church.

Most Romantic Day in Zambia

Primarily due to the impact and influence of foreign media on Zambia, Valentine\’s Day is generally considered to be the most romantic holiday for Zambians. Like other countries, it is celebrated on February 14th.

Typical First Date in Zambia

There is no way to accurately define a first date in Zambia. There are many factors which will impact what two people decide to do on a first date. The socioeconomic dynamic of the couple, where they might be located and even religious beliefs will all have some impact on the first date.

Despite all of these influencing factors, there are some common aspects that first dates around the world typically share. On your first date in Zambia, the focus should be on getting to know each other in an informal setting where you can chat openly. It does not matter if you are talking over a cup of coffee, walking out in nature or a park or another original idea, the goal should be to check the vibe, see if there is a connection or potential for continuing the relationship. Here are a few ideas for first dates in Zambia:

• Shopping: In Lusaka, Kitwe and other cities, shopping malls or commercial centers can be great date spots. They are relatively safe, public and there is enough external stimulation to keep a good conversation going.
• Coffee or drinks: Many first dates in Zambia take place in a casual setting, such as a coffee shop or bar.
• Outdoor activities: In some parts of Zambia, there are many options for outdoor activities such as hiking/walking, picnic, biking or even a combination of activities while visiting a local park. Depending on the activity level of you and your date, these may be nice options for you.

Dating etiquette

Like social cues and other aspects of dating, dating etiquette or expectations of behavior when on a date can vary somewhat from individual to individual. That being said, if you are on a date in Zambia, below are some general tips to keep in mind:

• Punctuality: Even though many parts of Africa are known for ‘Africa time‘, being on time for a date is generally seen as a sign of respect in most cultures. However, attitudes towards punctuality will vary, with some cultures placing a high importance on it, while others might have a more relaxed attitude. Don’t be surprised if your date arrives 3 hours late!
• Dress and appearance: Dressing appropriately for the occasion and taking care of personal hygiene are often seen as signs of respect towards the other person. In Zambia, men are expected to dress in a neat and stylish manner, while women might be expected to wear more fashionable or elegant outfits. This will vary based off of socioeconomic factors.
• Physical contact: In some cultures, casual touching (like a hug or a kiss on the cheek) might be common even on a first date, while in more conservative cultures, any kind of physical contact might be reserved for later stages of a relationship or even marriage. Since Zambia has both traditional, conservatively minded and others who may follow more international
• Public displays of affection: Public displays of affection can be more common in some Latin American cultures than in others. Pay attention to the body language of your date and cues to determine what is appropriate.
• Paying the bill: In many cultures, the person who initiated the date is expected to pay the bill, although this is not a universal rule. Offering to split the bill can be a polite gesture, although in some cultures it might be expected for the man to pay.
• End of the date: How the date ends can also convey a lot. Walking the other person to their car or home, or arranging for their safe return, is often seen as a sign of care and respect. If both parties enjoyed the date, it is common to express interest in meeting again.

The Importance of language

Africa is an immensely diverse continent. There are thousands of languages spoken throughout and many different cultural practices. Zambia is one of fifty-four countries in Africa, each generally having their own using culture and language norms.

As Zambia was colonized by the United Kingdom, English is widely spoken. However, there are other languages such as Bemba, Lozi, Nyanja, Tonga and others. Though it is not possible to learn all languages, especially as a foreigner or tourist, we do always recommend studying local culture and learning language, even if just a few phrases. As you know, language is an incredibly important form of communication and knowing some Bemba or others will greatly enhance your experience.

While some Zambians may also speak English or other languages, being able to communicate in any other local language can help to build stronger relationships with locals, facilitate communication in a variety of contexts and gain respect or trust with new people. It is a win-win situation for you and the culture.

Is Zambia gay friendly?

Unfortunately, as a whole, Africa has a very poor record for LGBTQ+ rights and protections. Further, according to a 2013 Pew Research Center survey, the majority of people in many sub-Saharan African nations held negative views towards homosexuality.⁴ Because of this, gayness is heavily stigmatized in certain Zambian communities and areas around Zambia. These stigmas are influenced by a myriad of religious, political and historical cultural beliefs.

With the exception of South Africa, where there are constitutionally enshrined protections for LGBTQ+ individuals. South Africa was the first country in the world to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation in their constitution, and it remains the only African country to have legalized same-sex marriage. Unlike Lusaka, Kitwe cities like Cape Town are known to have vibrant gay communities and events, which is a rare occurrence in Africa.

As of today, homosexuality remains criminalized in nearly every African country, including Zambia. While a few have made strides towards acceptance and equality, sadly there is a long way to go before LGBTQ individuals are freed from oppression in places like Zambia. Until that time, it remains dangerous to be openly gay in most of Africa.

If you plan on using one of the gay dating apps in Zambia, please be EXTREMELY careful. Check the latest regulations from a reputable international organization like the ILGA and use apps like Grindr and Tinder, which help you to remain safe.

Social cues

In Africa, social cues can be somewhat subjective to the individual, as is the case with Zambians. Each country, like Zambia, has multiple cultures inside of it. It is important to understand who you are dating. More conservative people will be reserved and may be focused purely on serious relationships, while more liberally minded people will be more open to different connections. It is important to be respectful to your date and understand their expectations.

When it comes to dating in Zambia, here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Non-verbal cues: As is common in many cultures, body language plays an important role in expressing interest or disinterest during a date. Maintaining eye contact, smiling, and leaning towards the other person can all indicate interest. On the other hand, crossing arms, avoiding eye contact, or frequently checking a phone can signal disinterest.
• Verbal cues: Listening attentively, asking follow-up questions, and responding positively to stories or jokes can signal interest. In contrast, frequently interrupting, dominating the conversation, or responding negatively can signal a lack of interest or respect.

Gender roles

Much like the rest of the world, traditional gender roles in Zambia are not substantially different. Though it is difficult to generalize such a vastly diverse region, Africa, as a whole, tends to be somewhat conservative. Because of this, traditional gender roles tend to dominate dating practices in Zambia. Zambian men are often expected to take the initiative in asking women out, planning the date, and paying for the expenses. Zambian women, on the other hand, are often expected to be more reserved and nurturing. To a degree, religion will often play a part of this as well.

As globalization and urbanization march forward, norms around dating and gender roles are changing, especially among younger generations and in urban areas. More egalitarian dating practices are becoming more common, with some Zambian women also taking the initiative and couples splitting the bill. Further, where applicable, LGBTQ couples will have different norms.

Best way to meet singles in Zambia

The best place to meet singles in Zambia depends a lot on where you might be. If you are in a rural area, then your options may be limited. However, if you find yourself in a large urban center like Lusaka, Kitwe, then you may have more options. Do some research on popular activities or events happening in your area and see what you find.

We believe that you can increase your chances of meeting Zambian singles by trying out some of these methods:

• Social events: Attending social events like festivals or cultural events even parties are great ways to meet new people and potentially find a romantic partner. Though many of these are not specifically focused on dating, they may present opportunities to strike up a conversation with someone new.
• Through friends: If you live in a place and have a friend network, it may be easy to meet potential partners through friends or mutual acquaintances. Ask your friends to introduce you to someone they think you may hit it off with, or attend social events with them to meet new people. It is important to use this sparingly though in case a new relationship does not work out.
• Joining groups or clubs: Joining a new club or group centered around a common interest such as a profession, skill, sport or even language exchange, can all be great ways to meet new people. By joining an organization based on mutual interests, conversations will be easy and it is easier to relax.
• Go shopping: In cities like Lusaka, Kitwe, shopping centers, malls and markets are great places to meet new Zambian singles. Markets and malls are often central to daily life and people visit them frequently either out of necessity or to pass time.
• Volunteering: There should be plenty of volunteer opportunities in Zambia. Volunteering for a local organization or charity is not only a great way to give back to the greater human society, but it can also be a great way to meet new people who share similar values, passions and worldviews.
• Online dating: If all else fails, there is always online dating. As you will read in the section below, the online dating scene is evolving in Zambia. Though the amount of Zambian singles on these platforms is still relatively small, the apps and sites can still be ways of meeting someone new who shares values and interests with you.

Is it safe to date people in Zambia?

As a continent, Africa has a bad image for safety and security. It is not that all of Africa is unsafe, it is more that it is not consistent. Many parts of Africa are quite safe and open for dating, whereas other parts are very complicated for a number of reasons.

It does not matter if you are Zambian, African or a foreign tourist, if you plan to date in Zambia, it can be an interesting experience for you. However, you should take certain safety precautions to ensure that you have a safe and enjoyable time meeting new people.

Here are 10 things to keep in mind when dating in Zambia:

• Be Aware of Local Laws and Customs: Learning about the local culture, like you are doing now, can help you navigate dating in Zambia and avoid cultural misunderstandings or faux pas. Further, if Zambia is a new place for you, take some time to review local laws and customs, particularly related to dating and public behavior. This is especially important for LGBTQ+ individuals, as laws and societal acceptance vary greatly. If you are going to use gay dating apps, we recommend that you consider using well known international apps. Some dating apps, such as Grindr or Tinder, have implemented security features into their apps that let you know if you are traveling in a country where gay relationships are illegal.
• Choose a Reputable Dating Platform: Use a reliable dating app or website that requires identity verification. This can help weed out fake profiles and scammers.
• Use the messaging service on the dating app: It is safer to use the messaging service provided by the dating app until you are comfortable sharing your contact details.
• Keep Personal Information Private: Do not share sensitive information like your home address, financial details, or other private information with someone you have just met online.
• Research Your Date: Do a quick online search of the profile information of your date to verify their identity. Be wary of profiles with limited friends, photos, and interactions as these could be signs of a fake profile.
• Tell Someone About Your Plans: Always tell a friend or family member where you are going, who you are meeting, and when you expect to return.
• Meet in Public: On your first few dates, meet in a public place like a café or a park where there are plenty of people around. In a places like Lusaka, Kitwe, it should be somewhat easy to find a public space.
• Stay Sober: If alcohol is served on your first date, pay attention and limit your intake to ensure that you are fully aware of your surroundings. As alcohol can impair your judgment, it is safer to drink less when you first get to know someone.
• Trust Your Gut: If something feels off or too good to be true, it probably is. Trust your instincts and do not feel obliged to stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Remove yourself from a bad situation when it feels right to do so.
• Safe Sex: If you decide to become intimate with your date, remember to practice safe sex. This includes using protection and getting regular check-ups for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Remember, safety first. It is important to take precautions and use common sense when dating in Zambia, whether online or offline.

Dating scams in Zambia

Dating scams can and do unfortunately happen across the globe. Africa is no stranger to scams or deceptive practices. Particularly in the digital world, wherever there are lonely or naive people, a nefarious person can take advantage of their kindness or emotions.

While we do not know of any dating scams unique to Zambia, we do believe you should keep in mind these online dating scams which are common in other African countries and the rest of the world. While we do not believe paranoia helps, it is always a good idea to be careful and approach online dating in Zambia with caution. Until you build trust with someone, you should not provide too many personal details. Whether you are Zambian or a foreigner looking to date in Zambia, please keep these common dating scams in mind when using apps and sites to meet new people:

• Identity theft: Scammers may use dating apps or websites to steal personal information from their targets, such as credit card numbers or other personal details.
• Romance Scams: In this scam, criminals create fake profiles on dating websites or apps. They build an online relationship with their victims and then ask for money for various reasons – a sick relative, a plane ticket to visit, or some other fabricated story. Once they receive the money, they disappear.²
• Advanced Fee Fraud: This is one of the most common types of fraud in West Africa, in countries like Nigeria and Ghana, but could also happen in Zambia. The scammer forms a relationship with the victim and then asks for money to help them access a large amount of money or gold they have supposedly inherited but cannot access due to bureaucratic red tape.
• Catfishing: This involves a scammer creating a fake profile with stolen photos and false information. The scammer entices the victim into a relationship with the goal of obtaining personal information or exploiting them emotionally.
• Military Scams: In these scams, fraudsters pose as military personnel who are serving overseas or outside of Zambia. They form a relationship with the victim and then ask for money, often claiming that it is for a leave application, medical expenses, or other fabricated reasons.
• Gift Scams: Scammers, after forming a relationship, might ask for expensive gifts or money to buy such gifts. Once the gifts or money are received, they break off contact.
• Kidnapping Scams: These are extreme and less common, but there have been reports of scammers luring victims to a location under the pretense of a date and then kidnapping them for ransom.
• Other money scams: Scammers may create fake profiles on dating apps or websites and then ask their targets for money for any number of other reasons than previously mentioned. If money is involved, it is likely a dating scam. Use good judgement.

Online dating in Zambia

The advent of the digital age has revolutionized many aspects of modern Zambian life, including the way people meet and form romantic relationships. Though online dating in the greater African continent is not a significantly developed industry, growth, at least on a relative percentage level, has been significant in recent years. The online dating industry, albeit relatively small in Zambia, is blossoming and we may be on the cusp of a developing industry for the region.

Like many other countries in Africa, online dating in Zambia was slow to take off initially. This is likely due to a few aspects:

One is that historically, Zambia has had a low internet penetration and limited access to smartphones. However, over the last decade with the widespread adoption of mobile technology, increased internet accessibility, and reduction in costs, Zambians people are increasingly digitized.

Second, accessibility, particularly through localization. Product adoption and education is typically very low when people do not understand the user interface (UI) language of your product. Historically, most dating apps have not localized for any African languages, let alone languages native to the region around present-day Zambia, such as Lozi or Bemba. European languages, a legacy of colonization, make products accessible for those who speak them. For this reason some international dating apps, like Badoo, Bumble, Tinder or gay dating apps localized into English may be more popular in Zambia particularly among Anglophone or English speaking Zambian singles.

Third, history and widespread scams, have led to distrust amongst online platforms, especially foreign ones on occasion. With time and companies demonstrating devotion to privacy and data security, it is likely that more single Zambians will be open to online dating. However, with the dark colonial past by United Kingdom, there is definitely a legacy sentiment of skepticism among certain people. Rightfully so in some cases. Companies will need to work extra hard to overturn this and build trust with locals, or be locals themselves.

A fourth reason is mainly culture. More traditional societies and indigenous people like the Bemba, Tonga, Chewa, Lozi, Nsenga, are quite foreign to the concept of a dating app or website. This is due to the reliance on social circles and emphasis on maintaining culture through relationships within the Bemba, Tonga, Chewa, Lozi and Nsenga community(ies). Further, for religious Zambians there would definitely be stigmas or perceived risk associated with online dating.

A fifth reason is that dating can be seen as a luxury, even among people who have an open mind towards meeting new people. Though there are wealthy Zambian, many singles in Zambia continue to struggle economically. With each passing generation, the economic situation seems to be improving, but many Zambian have a long way to go before having a western style social life.

Despite these setbacks and reservations, we believe that the online dating industry has an interesting future in Zambia. As a whole, the African continent has more than 1.4 billion people; most interestingly, the median age of this population is 19.4.¹ Compared to Europe, where the median age is over 40 and population is roughly half, that is a substantial growth story for Zambia and the rest of Africa. As more and more people join the digital world, we expect Zambian singles to increasingly turn to online dating as a means for connection.

Presently, the online dating landscape in Africa is dynamic, diverse and slowly accelerating. International platforms have had a presence for years, but a notable trend in the online dating scene in Africa, is the rise of niche platforms catering to specific groups. For example, culture-specific dating like dating apps for Muslims or Christians or LGBTQ communities. Where indigenous or linguistic communities are large in number, we may even see dating apps that cater to Bemba, Tonga, Chewa, Lozi and Nsenga singles.

With continued tech adoption and changing societal attitudes, the future of online dating in Africa looks promising. User growth in Zambia will inevitably contribute to that change, even if in relatively small ways. As a youthful and digitally-connected population continues to grow, so too does the potential market for online dating services. Additionally, the ongoing shift towards homegrown and niche dating platforms suggests a future where the industry is increasingly tailored to the diverse needs and preferences of local Zambian daters.

Top dating apps in Zambia

Much like in the rest of the world, international recognized dating apps like Badoo or Tinder, are likely to have users in nearly every African country. These apps are likely to be popular with young Zambian singles. If you plan to use a dating app in Zambia, we recommend reviewing the below apps in addition to any other apps you may be familiar with. Online dating is a lot about trying different platforms and sites and finding ones that works best for you and your interests. This will give you the best chances of success in meeting someone special.

Keep in mind, the dating sites and apps available and popular by country may depend on how well the apps are localized into the languages of Zambia.

• AfroIntroductions: As one of the largest African dating sites, AfroIntroductions has a prescence in Zambia and gives Zambian singles access to connections with other single daters around the continent and in the diaspora.
• Tagged: Tagged is a social networking site that has grown to be a popular platform for dating in many African countries with a presence in Zambia.
• Muslima: This niche dating site caters to the Muslim community. Though it has its largest and most significant user base in North Africa in countries such as Morocco, Tunisia and Egypt, Muslims around Africa find value in the dating app.
• Muzz: a popular dating app for Muslim people
• DateMeKenya: Though specific to Kenya, DateMeKenya is an example of a country-specific dating site.
• Liefie: Additionally, in South Africa, Liefie is particularly tailored towards Afrikaans-speaking singles.

¹ https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/africa-population/

² Romance dating scams in Africa are common: https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams

³ Sub-Saharan views on homosexuality: https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2013/06/04/the-global-divide-on-homosexuality/

⁴ https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2013/06/04/the-global-divide-on-homosexuality/