Dating in France

Historically, France stands out for its monumental contributions to art, science, philosophy, and culture, having been the epicenter of numerous pivotal movements, from the Enlightenment to the French Revolution. This deep-rooted cultural richness and reverence for artistry and romance are palpable in its dating culture. The French approach to romance is often portrayed as the epitome of elegance and passion. Dating is seen less as a structured phase and more as a part of everyday socializing. The idea of courtship revolves around charm, chivalry, and the subtle art of seduction, underpinned by a love for intellectual conversations and appreciation for the arts.

Historically significant concepts like ‘Liberty, Equality, Fraternity’ from the French Revolution also resonate within the dating sphere. There’s an emphasis on equality, individual freedom, and mutual respect in relationships. France’s diverse history, comprising periods of monarchy, revolution, and republicanism, is mirrored in its dating traditions where there’s room for different styles and rhythms of romance. Whether it’s strolling along the Seine, dining at a cozy bistro, or engaging in a passionate debate, French dating intertwines its historical charm and contemporary romance in a unique way that continues to allure people worldwide.

As part of the greater European dating scene, the dating culture in France represents a rich tapestry of traditions, customs, and norms that have evolved over centuries, influenced by historical events, societal changes, and the diverse cultural heritage of the continent. European dating culture is not homogenous; it varies significantly from one country to another, offering a fascinating study in cultural diversity. Therefore, the way that French date can be different that other Europeans do.

As we hope you will find in this article, dating in France is a fascinating subject, reflecting the diversity of cultures, traditions, and societal norms on the European continent. As society evolves and intercultural interactions increase, these customs continue to intermingle and evolve, creating a dynamic and intriguing French dating scene.

Interesting facts about dating in France

1. “La bise” Custom: One of the most unique French dating customs is “la bise,” a social greeting that involves cheek kissing. It’s not considered romantic; it’s more of a friendly gesture. But when it comes to dating, the frequency of “la bise” might increase, subtly indicating mutual interest.
2. Understanding of “Dating”: The concept of “dating” in the American sense doesn’t exactly translate in France. French people generally get to know someone in a group setting before progressing into an exclusive romantic relationship. The term “dating” is often reserved for the stage when people are in an official relationship.
3. Dinner Dates: While casual coffee dates are common in some countries, the French prefer a leisurely dinner for their first date. The significance of good food and wine in French culture translates into their dating habits as well.
4. Expression of Love: It’s typical for French people to wait for a while before confessing their love. A ‘je t’aime’ from a French partner is considered a big step in the relationship, as it translates more closely to ‘I love you’ than ‘I like you.’
5. Public Display of Affection: PDA is more accepted and common in France than in many other cultures. Affectionate gestures such as holding hands, hugging, or a peck on the cheek in public are part of French romantic culture.
6. Significance of Fashion: France, especially Paris, is known as the fashion capital of the world. Therefore, what one wears on a date can often be as important as the conversation. Dressing well is part and parcel of French dating etiquette.
7. Less Formal Dating Labels: The French don’t use labels like ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ as commonly as some other cultures. Once people become exclusive, they often simply refer to each other as ‘mon ami(e),’ which translates to ‘my friend.’
8. The Language of Love: French is often called the language of love, and it plays a crucial role in French dating culture. Sweet nothings whispered in French have a romantic allure that adds a unique charm to dating in France.

Most Romantic Day in France

In terms of mainstream culture, Valentine’s Day celebrated on February 14th is quite commonly celebrated in France. This is particularly true among younger French due to the influence of social media and globalization.

An intriguing French Valentine’s Day tradition used to be “la loterie d’amour” or “the lottery of love” where single men and women would enter houses facing each other and pair off. The tradition has faded, but Valentine’s Day remains significant in French dating culture.

As multiculturalism is common in Europe, foreigners living in France may share their culture with French as well. In this case, other traditionally non-European holidays may be celebrated also.

Typical First Date in France

Dating is quite normal in most European countries, especially large cities like Paris, Marseille or Lyon. First dates among French singles tend to be quite casual in nature, but what a couple decides to do depends on a number of factors.

First, how they met is somewhat relevant. If it was a situation where there is an expectation or high intention, such as a dating app, then their date may be more formal and focused. Secondly, personal beliefs (i.e. religion) and goals. Thirdly, socioeconomic factors and where the couple is located are also taken into consideration.

Even though there is some variation in a first date in France, generally, it should be somewhat informal and casual with a focus on getting to know your date. It could be a coffee, a drink, or a walk – regardless, it is ideal to choose a setting where you can chat openly, vibe check, and lastly see if there is a good connection and potential for continuing the relationship.

If you are looking for suggestions, here are a few ideas for first dates in France:

• Coffee or drinks: The most common first dates in France tend to be at a cafe or bar. Cafe culture is quite important and it makes for a relaxing atmosphere.
• Dinner: If you start with coffee or drinks, your date may progress to lunch or dinner (or even breakfast). France has a range of food options from casual street food to fine dining. Try a favorite or discover a new French specialty.
• Museums or art exhibitions: Europe is known for its affinity to the arts. Many cities like, Paris, Marseille or Lyon, have a great museum scene. For an intellectually stimulating date in France, perhaps try the arts. Bring out your inner sapiosexual.
• Outdoor activities: If the weather is nice, France has some great outdoor activities. If you are located near some nature spots, hiking/walking, picnic, biking or even a combination of activities could be a great first date.

Dating etiquette and social cues

The majority of Europeans, including most French are pretty similar when it comes to social cues. Though there are definite differences between cultures, most cues are somewhat standardized. Much like we can think of dating in East Asia as unique, dating in Europe is somewhat unique to itself.

Here are a few common tips for social cues and dating etiquette in France:

• Communication Style: As a whole, Europeans often value directness and honesty in communication. This can be reflected in dating, where it is generally appreciated to be clear about your intentions and feelings.
• Conversation Topics: Many French enjoy deep, meaningful conversations, including discussing global current events, culture, history, and personal passions. However, it is generally wise to avoid controversial topics on a first date.
• Dress Code: For most, French dressing well is for dates as it is a form of self presentation. It is a sign of respect to the other person and indicates that you have put thought and effort into the meeting.
• Modesty: Boasting can be seen as unattractive in France. It is often more appreciated to be humble and let your actions speak for themselves.
• Politeness and Manners: Good manners are appreciated across France. This could be as simple as saying “s’il vous plaît” and “merci,” or more specific customs like waiting for everyone to be served before eating.
• Independence: Both parties in a dating scenario are generally expected to be independent. This can manifest in various ways, such as splitting the bill, planning dates, transportation, and personal space.
• Punctuality: A controversial topic in Europe but punctuality is generally important for dating in France. Being late could be perceived as a lack of interest or respect. That being said, if you are into multicultural dating you might be in for some fun. In some countries like Germany or Switzerland, it is considered rude to be even a few minutes late while in Spain or Italy time is more of a guideline than an exact number.
• Public displays of affection (PDA): To a degree, public displays of affection, or PDA, can be quite common in France, especially in cities, than in places like Southeast Asia. Light kissing, hugging and hand holding are typically completely normal in French society. Pay attention to the body language of your date and cues to determine what is appropriate.
• End of the date: How the date ends can also convey a lot. Walking the other person to their car or home, or arranging for their safe return, is often seen as a sign of care and respect. If both parties enjoyed the date, it is common to express interest in meeting again.

The importance of language

Though compact, Europe is a linguistically diverse continent. This is diversity is evident in the dating scene as well, where many lovers find themselves in multicultural situations. In France and other parts of Europe, language knowledge is frequently an integral part of getting to know someone new.

French is the official language of France and without question the lingua franca (intentional pun) of the greater France nation. However, due to the geography of France as well as their colonial past, France is largely a multicultural and multilingual nation. In addition to French, Basque (Euskara), Alsatian, Occitane, Breton and others are spoken all spoken in France to varying degrees. Further, because there has been significant immigration in recent years, it is in not uncommon to find Arabic, English, German, Spanish, Italian, Turkish, Romani or other language speakers as well.

As the distance between countries and cultures inside of Europe is small, most French are multilingual in some capacity. As France borders Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, Andorra and Monaco, students will often study and/or have familiarity with English, German, Catalan, Spanish or Italian for practical reasons. This is especially true in bordering towns and cities since the need to use the language in everyday life is tangible.

If you are a foreigner or tourist, we do always recommend learning language and studying local culture. Language is incredibly important form of human connection and knowing some of the local language will greatly enhance your experience. It may not be possible to learn all languages, especially if backpacking through, but relying on your English is limiting and alienating. If you can learn to speak basic or intermediate level French, a few phrases will go a long way. Nothing shows your date more respect than genuinely learning about his or her culture.

While some French will also speak English or other languages, being able to communicate in any other local language can help to build stronger relationships with, facilitate communication in a variety of contexts and gain respect or trust with French. It is a win-win situation for you and French culture.

Is France gay friendly?

When it comes to gay friendliness and LGBTQ+ tolerance, Europe tends to lead the world, with Scandinavia among the most supportive¹. The culture of France tends to be liberal and therefore the average French likely has a relatively open view of homosexuality². Though this might be the average generalization, the personal beliefs among individual French may vary greatly across the scale.

Per the ILGA, homosexuality is legal in France. For LGBTQ+ daters, you should know that France has broad protection for sexual orientation. Therefore, protections for the French LGBTQ community are typically high³. However, it is always a good idea to check with the ILGA or other reputable organizations for the latest regulations and changes.

There are several popular gay dating apps in France. Apps like Grindr and Tinder, have in-app protections in place for gay travelers looking to meet locals. Dating apps with features like these can be huge allies to the LGBTQ community.

Gender roles

In Europe, the concept of gender roles in dating is as diverse as the continent itself, with traditions and norms varying significantly from one country to another, reflecting each unique cultural and societal value by region. However, it is important to note that these are generalizations and individual experiences can vary widely as they do in France and for the greater French community.

While these general patterns can provide a broad understanding of France dating cultures, it is crucial to remember that individual behaviors and expectations can differ greatly. With the increasing influence of global media, migration, and the principles of gender equality, traditional gender roles are continually being challenged and reshaped. Furthermore among French, personal beliefs, education, and exposure to other cultures also play a significant role in the approach to dating and relationships.

Best way to meet singles in France

In general, most European destinations are exciting places to meet and mingle with singles. This is also true of France in popular destinations like Paris, Marseille or Lyon. Depending on your preferences and comfort level you will be able to find plenty of activities for socializing in France, especially during the summer months when French tend to spend lots of time outdoors.

If you are ready to meet singles in France, here are 7 general methods that can be helpful:

• Social Events: Europe has a rich culture of social events, including music festivals, local carnivals, food and wine tasting events, art exhibitions, and more. These can be great places to meet like-minded French singles.
• Nightlife: The nightlife scene in many European cities is vibrant and diverse. Whether you prefer bustling clubs, cozy bars, or live music venues, there is something for everyone. Cities like Paris, Marseille or Lyon are the most well renowned for their nightlife in France.
• Meetup groups, professional organizations and language exchange events: Websites like Meetup, Couchsurfing, InterNations and others offer a variety of group activities based on shared interests. Though they are not dating apps, they offer ways to expand ones social circle, which is important to having a healthy dating life. Language exchange events are common and are a great way to meet locals and other travelers alike. Who knows, maybe your soul mate is traveling through. Regardless, this can be a more relaxed and natural way to meet French singles with no expectations.
• Sports Clubs and Outdoor Activities: Europeans love their sports and outdoor activities. Joining a local sports club or participating in activities such as hiking, cycling, or skiing trips can be a fun way to meet French singles.
• Volunteering: Volunteering for local causes or events can provide a meaningful way to connect with others and contribute to the French community.
• Through Friends and Acquaintances: Often, meeting new people can be as simple as getting to know the friends of your friends. Do not be shy about asking to be introduced. However, exercise caution about dating friends of friends as this can sometimes jeopardize your friendships.
• Online Dating: If all else fails, there is always online dating to save the day. Online dating has become increasingly popular in France in recent years. Major websites and apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and local platforms like Meetic in France, Lovoo in Germany, and Badoo, which is popular in many southern and eastern European countries, can all help you connect with local French singles.

Is it safe to date people in France?

Life in France is generally quite safe. There are always bad neighborhoods or less safe crowds, but general in large cities like Paris, Marseille or Lyon, safety should hopefully not be a major concern in normal circumstances. That being said, here are some tips which can help you to stay safe while dating in France:

• Lookup your date: If you have any doubts about the person, perhaps do a quick online search to verify their identity. If you find they have some presence on professional networks or social media you can review their profiles.
• Choose a reputable dating platform: There are many different dating apps, use a trusted and reliable app or website that requires identity verification. These apps can help weed out fake profiles and scammers with their powerful AI metrics.
• Use the messaging service on the dating app: In many cases, it is safer to use the messaging service provided by the dating site until you are comfortable sharing your contact details. This is because dating companies have a record of your chat but also because you can easily disconnect with someone should you feel uncomfortable.
• Keep personal information private: In general, you should never share sensitive information like your financial details, address for where you live or other private information with someone you have just met. This can be more true with someone you met online.
• Tell someone about your plans: It can be a good practice to tell a trusted friend or family member your dating plans. For example, where you are going, who you are meeting, and when you expect to return. If they do not hear from you by that time, then you can call to check on you. You can also ask them to call at a certain time to check on you.
• Meet in public: On your first few dates, meet in a public place like a café or a park where there are plenty of people around. In a cities like Paris, Marseille or Lyon, it should be quite easy to find a nice public space.
• Stay sober: If you drink alcohol on your first date, consider limiting your intake at first to ensure that you really get to know the person and are fully aware of your surroundings. Because alcohol can impair your judgment, it is safer to drink less when you first get to know someone.
• Trust your gut: Our instincts often know more than we give them credit for. If something feels off or too good to be true, it probably is. Trust your instincts and do not feel obliged to stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Remove yourself from a bad situation when it feels right to do so.
• Safe sex: Safe sex is smart sex. If you decide to become intimate with your date, remember to practice safe sex. This includes using protection and getting regular check-ups for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Remember, safety first. It is important to take precautions and use common sense when dating in France, whether online or offline.

Dating scams in France

Every day across the digital world, dating scams prey upon lonely and naive people online. This is just as true in France as it is anywhere else in the world. Dating scams online are rampant and can happen to anyone. It is always a good practice to be careful and approach online dating in France with caution.

Getting to know someone new, whether in real life or digitally, can and should be a fun process. It is important to build trust and use good judgement before sharing personal details.

In terms of dating scams specific to France, we do not currently know any. However, across the world these common dating scams which are widely reported on dating apps and websites:

• Catfishing: One of the most common is simply catfishing. Catfishing is essentially when someone presents themself as someone else using fake profile information, stolen or altered photos. Usually, they will use attractive pictures to lure in a person, but in reality they are quite different.
• Gift Scams: After forming a relationship with you, scammers might ask for expensive gifts or money to buy such gifts for you. Once the gifts or money are received, they will disappear.
• Advanced Fee Fraud: If you check your spam inbox you will likely see a few emails like this. Most commonly, they come from countries West African countries like Ghana or Nigeria, but can originate from anywhere. Usually the scammer forms a relationship with the victim and then asks for money to help them access a large sum of money they have supposedly inherited but cannot access. If it sounds to good to be true, then it usually is.⁴
• Military Scams: In these scams, fraudsters pose as French military personnel who are serving overseas or outside of France. They form a relationship with the victim and then ask for money, often claiming that it is for a leave application, medical expenses, or other fabricated reasons.

This is not an all inclusive list of dating scams. Scammers are constantly coming up with new ways to take advantage of people. Be vigilant.

Online dating in France

The state of online dating in France is an interesting one. The digital transformation of Europe and adoption of social technologies has definitely impacted the way that modern French date along their single journey.

Unlike Africa, where growth in the online dating industry has been slow, many Europeans were early adopters to the dating industry. In fact, some of the oldest online dating websites are European.

With a population of around 67 million⁵, there are plenty of French singles to support online dating platforms. Though many French are more open to the idea of online dating in France, cultural and historical influences still impact the French dating scene today.

How has online dating been effective

French are generally quite open to multiculturalism. After all, “Unity in diversity” is one of the core tenants of the European Union. Since France is a member of the European Union, French are likely to place value in this ideal.

Keeping this in mind, dating apps are great ways to meet people from different backgrounds. The reason is because there are opportunities to meet people outside of your personal social network or social circles. People living on the border with Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, Andorra and Monaco might even find a match abroad.

Most dating apps and websites are quite accessible to French. Though not every dating app will localize for French, some apps will, especially large international dating apps.

While not all French are affluent, the majority can afford technology. Most young French will have at least smart phone or computer, which will give them access to a dating app or dating site respectively.

Another important reason why online dating is somewhat popular is because casual relationships are typically normal in mainstream French culture. Though individual French will have personal preferences, social dating is very common across France and the greater European region. Views towards premarital sex, marriage, and romantic relationships are generally quite fluid among French.

However, religious French may hold more traditional beliefs or practices. Particularly, native European Christians, Jews and Muslims or even immigrants living in France may choose do date or marry within their respective community to preserve and adhere to their cultural roots.

Challenges with online dating in Europe

Though French are increasingly more open to online dating, the industry in France is not without its challenges. Here are a few considerations which may help to explain why online dating in French might not be popular with all single daters.

First, dating apps are often viewed as superficial and lacking substance. French tend to be cultured and give great importance to social interactions. Since many dating apps like Tinder, are focused on a hot or not concept, they are not overly appealing to many French. Instead of judging someone purely on their outward physical appearance, French are looking for deeper value and connection from a potential partner. Though Tinder may not offer this, other apps like Hinge do. Therefore, certain dating apps may be more popular than others in France.

Second, there are security concerns with online dating and American tech companies in general. In addition to the number of popular online dating scams in circulation, data privacy is major concern for French. After all, Europe led the charge with their insistence of the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) law which forced all tech companies to comply. Though we think this is a great thing for consumers, it presents a challenge for tech companies who have a history of collecting large amounts of personal data on their users. This is especially in online dating where lots of personal information might be exchanged.

Third, another obstacle for online dating in France is the fact that it is already quite easy for French to meet other singles. French spend a lot of time walking around or in commute. In addition, France has a relatively vibrant night life and social scene. French singles can easily meet in a cafe or any other public setting. Therefore there is lack of need when compared to North American countries like the United States or Canada.

Another important and subtle challenge for online dating in France is the simple fact that it has an aging population. While regions like Africa, Latin America and parts of Asia have young and growing populations, the population in Europe is actually in decline. As of 2020, the median age in Europe was 42.5, while 42 in French.⁶

While this list of challenges for online the dating industry in France is not inclusive, these four points highlight some of the obstacles dating apps might face there.

Top dating apps in France

As we have just discussed, online dating in France is a relatively mature industry. Most French, have likely tried a dating app or website in France at least once. It is possible that they used the app while living abroad or perhaps they wanted to meet other local French singles. Regardless, there are a number of popular dating apps in France.

As European markets tend to be viable, most dating site and app companies have localized their apps into French. Therefore, knowledge of dating apps and how to use them, is usually strong.

That being said, here are the top dating apps in France:

• Badoo – a popular dating app in most of European countries.
• Bumble – a niche dating app where French women have the ability to make the first move.
• Happn – a dating app that functions based off of your daily location and who you might cross paths with in real life
• Meetic – a popular dating app among Francophones
• Tinder – traditionally one of the more popular dating apps in Europe, definitely in terms of brand recognition

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¹ European views on homosexuality: https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2013/06/04/the-global-divide-on-homosexuality/

^{2 & 3} French views on sexual orientation and homosexuality https://ilga.org/maps-sexual-orientation-laws

https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams

⁴ Popular dating scams as it relates to France: https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams

⁵ Population by country: https://www.worldometers.info/population/countries-in-europe-by-population/

⁶ European median age, https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/europe-population/ and median age for France https://www.worldometers.info/population/countries-in-europe-by-population/