Dating in the Netherlands

The Netherlands, a country rich in history, has left its mark on the world with its maritime exploits, art, and its fight against the sea. The nation’s unique historical heritage is marked by illustrious eras like the Dutch Golden Age in the 17th century, when it was a world power in trade, science, military, and art. This period produced legendary artists like Rembrandt and Vermeer, and established Amsterdam’s Canal Ring, which is now a UNESCO World Heritage site.

Additionally, the Netherlands’ ongoing relationship with water, seen in its impressive system of dikes, canals, and pumping stations, highlights a centuries-long battle against flooding, and a testament to Dutch innovation and resilience.

Parallel to this rich historical context, the Netherlands’ dating culture reflects the nation’s values of equality, individualism, and directness. Dutch men and women usually share responsibilities in relationships and it is common to split the bill during dates, a practice known as ‘Going Dutch’. This embodies the highly valued Dutch principle of equality.

Furthermore, online dating is very popular, and it’s not unusual for people to be quite specific about their dating preferences in their profiles, reflecting Dutch directness. Also, the Netherlands was the first country to legalize same-sex marriage in 2001, highlighting their progressiveness which extends to their open and liberal attitudes towards dating and relationships.

Windmills at Kinderdijk in Netherlands

As part of the greater European dating scene, the dating culture in Netherlands represents a vibrant history of traditions, customs, and norms that have evolved over centuries, influenced by historical events, societal changes, and the diverse cultural heritage of the continent. European dating culture is not homogenous; it varies significantly from one country to another, offering a fascinating study in cultural diversity. Therefore, the way that Dutch date can be different that other Europeans do.

As we hope you will find in this article, dating in Netherlands is a fascinating subject, reflecting the diversity of cultures, traditions, and societal norms on the European continent. As society evolves and intercultural interactions increase, these customs continue to intermingle and evolve, creating a dynamic and intriguing Dutch dating scene.

Interesting facts about dating in Netherlands

  1. Proactive Dating: In the Netherlands, both men and women are proactive when it comes to dating. Women don’t wait for men to make the first move and it’s common for a woman to ask a man out on a date.
  2. Relatively Long Co-habitations: It’s quite common for Dutch couples to live together for years, even decades, before getting married or even deciding not to marry at all. Marriage isn’t necessarily seen as a requirement for a committed, long-term relationship.
  3. Low Divorce Rates: The Netherlands has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world. This is partly due to the fact that Dutch couples typically take their time to make sure they’re compatible before marrying.
  4. Open-Mindedness: The Dutch are generally open-minded about intercultural relationships. As a country of diverse cultures and ethnicities, dating someone from a different background isn’t unusual in the Netherlands.
  5. Public Displays of Affection: While the Dutch are quite reserved, modest public displays of affection, such as hand-holding or a peck on the lips, are acceptable.
  6. Flirting Style: Dutch flirting style is generally subtle. Big, sweeping gestures or overly dramatic professions of love aren’t common in Dutch dating culture. Direct and straightforward communication is the norm.
  7. Non-Verbal Communication: Dutch people often give three kisses on the cheek as a casual greeting, it’s a common practice between friends, relatives, and sometimes even between people who’ve just met in a social setting.
  8. Dating Locations: Dating locations in the Netherlands can vary from coffee shops to cycling tours. Dutch people value spending quality time outdoors, so picnics in the park or beach walks are also common dating activities.
  9. Engagement Traditions: When it comes to engagements, it is traditional for the Dutch to give a ‘verlovingsring’, an engagement ring. The ring is usually a simple band with a diamond or another precious stone.

Most Romantic Day in Netherlands

In terms of mainstream culture, the Dutch celebrate Valentine’s Day, but it’s not as commercialized as in other countries. A traditional Dutch Valentine’s Day involves sending anonymous cards or gifts to a loved one. Younger Dutch who are plugged social media may choose to take Valentine’s Day more seriously.

Valentine's day globally
Valentine’s Day is a popular romantic holiday

As multiculturalism is common in Europe, foreigners living in Netherlands may share their culture with Dutch as well. In this case, other traditionally non-European holidays may be celebrated also.

Typical First Date in Netherlands

Dating is quite normal in most European countries, especially large cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam or The Hague. First dates among Dutch singles tend to be quite casual in nature, but what a couple decides to do depends on a number of factors.

First, how they met is somewhat relevant. If it was a situation where there is an expectation or high intention, such as a dating app, then their date may be more formal and focused. Secondly, personal beliefs (i.e. religion) and goals. Thirdly, socioeconomic factors and where the couple is located are also taken into consideration.

Coffee date
Coffee dates are a popular option

Even though there is some variation in a first date in Netherlands, generally, it should be somewhat informal and casual with a focus on getting to know your date. It could be a coffee, a drink, or a walk – regardless, it is ideal to choose a setting where you can chat openly, vibe check, and lastly see if there is a good connection and potential for continuing the relationship.

If you are looking for suggestions, here are a few ideas for first dates in Netherlands:

  • Coffee or drinks: The most common first dates in Netherlands tend to be at a cafe or bar. Cafe culture is quite important and it makes for a relaxing atmosphere.
  • Dinner: If you start with coffee or drinks, your date may progress to lunch or dinner (or even breakfast). Netherlands has a range of food options from casual street food to fine dining. Try a favorite or discover a new Dutch specialty.
  • Museums or art exhibitions: Europe is known for its affinity to the arts. Many cities like, Amsterdam, Rotterdam or The Hague, have a great museum scene. For an intellectually stimulating date in Netherlands, perhaps try the arts. Bring out your inner sapiosexual.
  • Outdoor activities: If the weather is nice, Netherlands has some great outdoor activities. If you are located near some nature spots, hiking/walking, picnic, biking or even a combination of activities could be a great first date.

Dating etiquette and social cues

The majority of Europeans, including most Dutch are pretty similar when it comes to social cues. Though there are definite differences between cultures, most cues are somewhat standardized. Much like we can think of dating in East Asia as unique, dating in Europe is somewhat unique to itself.

Here are a few common tips for social cues and dating etiquette in Netherlands:

  • Communication Style: As a whole, Europeans often value directness and honesty in communication. This can be reflected in dating, where it is generally appreciated to be clear about your intentions and feelings.
  • Conversation Topics: Many Dutch enjoy deep, meaningful conversations, including discussing global current events, culture, history, and personal passions. However, it is generally wise to avoid controversial topics on a first date.
  • Dress Code: For most, Dutch dressing well is for dates as it is a form of self presentation. It is a sign of respect to the other person and indicates that you have put thought and effort into the meeting.
  • Modesty: Boasting can be seen as unattractive in Netherlands. It is often more appreciated to be humble and let your actions speak for themselves.
  • Politeness and Manners: Good manners are appreciated across Netherlands. This could be as simple as saying “please” and “thank you,” or more specific customs like waiting for everyone to be served before eating.
  • Independence: Both parties in a dating scenario are generally expected to be independent. This can manifest in various ways, such as splitting the bill, planning dates, transportation, and personal space.
  • Punctuality: A controversial topic in Europe but punctuality is generally important for dating in Netherlands. Being late could be perceived as a lack of interest or respect. That being said, if you are into multicultural dating you might be in for some fun. In some countries like Germany or Switzerland, it is considered rude to be even a few minutes late while in Spain or Italy time is more of a guideline than an exact number.
  • Public displays of affection (PDA): To a degree, public displays of affection, or PDA, can be more common in Netherlands, especially in cities, than in places like Southeast Asia. Light kissing, hugging and hand holding are typically completely normal in Dutch society. Pay attention to the body language of your date and cues to determine what is appropriate.
  • End of the date: How the date ends can also convey a lot. Walking the other person to their car or home, or arranging for their safe return, is often seen as a sign of care and respect. If both parties enjoyed the date, it is common to express interest in meeting again.

The importance of language

Though compact, Europe is a linguistically diverse continent. This is diversity is evident in the dating scene as well, where many lovers find themselves in multicultural situations. In Netherlands and other parts of Europe, language knowledge is frequently an integral part of getting to know someone new.

In Europe, typically each country, like Netherlands, has at least one main language spoken inside it sometimes more than one. In Netherlands, Dutch (official), Frisian (official), English are all commonly spoken. Further, because there has been significant immigration in recent years, it is in not uncommon to find Arabic, Turkish, Romani or other language speakers as well.

As the distance between countries and cultures inside of Europe is small, most Dutch are multilingual in some capacity. As Netherlands borders Belgium and Germany, students will often study and/or have familiarity with English, French or German for practical reasons. This is especially true in bordering towns and cities since the need to use the language in everyday life is tangible.

Speaking local languages will greatly enhance your dating experience
Learning local language can greatly enhance your dating experience

If you are a foreigner or tourist, we do always recommend learning language and studying local culture. Language is incredibly important form of human connection and knowing some of the local language will greatly enhance your experience. It may not be possible to learn all languages, especially if backpacking through, but relying on your English is limiting and alienating. If you can learn to speak basic or intermediate level Dutch, a few phrases will go a long way. Nothing shows your date more respect than genuinely learning about his or her culture.

While some Dutch will also speak English or other languages, being able to communicate in any other local language can help to build stronger relationships with, facilitate communication in a variety of contexts and gain respect or trust with Dutch. It is a win-win situation for you and Dutch culture.

Is Netherlands gay friendly?

When it comes to gay friendliness and LGBTQ+ tolerance, Europe tends to lead the world, with Scandinavia among the most supportive1. The culture of Netherlands tends to be liberal and therefore the average Dutch likely has a relatively open view of homosexuality2. Though this might be the average generalization, the personal beliefs among individual Dutch may vary greatly across the scale.

Per the ILGA, homosexuality is legal in Netherlands. For LGBTQ+ daters, you should know that Netherlands has broad protection for sexual orientation. Therefore, protections for the Dutch LGBTQ community are typically high3. However, it is always a good idea to check with the ILGA or other reputable organizations for the latest regulations and changes.

Gay couple in front of rainbow

There are several popular gay dating apps in Netherlands. Apps like Grindr and Tinder, have in-app protections in place for gay travelers looking to meet locals. Dating apps with features like these can be huge allies to the LGBTQ community.

Gender roles

In Europe, the concept of gender roles in dating is as diverse as the continent itself, with traditions and norms varying significantly from one country to another, reflecting each unique cultural and societal value by region. However, it is important to note that these are generalizations and individual experiences can vary widely as they do in Netherlands and for the greater Dutch community.

While these general patterns can provide a broad understanding of Netherlands dating cultures, it is crucial to remember that individual behaviors and expectations can differ greatly. With the increasing influence of global media, migration, and the principles of gender equality, traditional gender roles are continually being challenged and reshaped. Furthermore among Dutch, personal beliefs, education, and exposure to other cultures also play a significant role in the approach to dating and relationships.

Best way to meet singles in Netherlands

In general, most European destinations are exciting places to meet and mingle with singles. This is also true of Netherlands in popular destinations like Amsterdam, Rotterdam or The Hague. Depending on your preferences and comfort level you will be able to find plenty of activities for socializing in Netherlands, especially during the summer months when Dutch tend to spend lots of time outdoors.

If you are ready to meet singles in Netherlands, here are 7 general methods that can be helpful:

  • Social Events: Europe has a rich culture of social events, including music festivals, local carnivals, food and wine tasting events, art exhibitions, and more. These can be great places to meet like-minded Dutch singles.
  • Nightlife: The nightlife scene in many European cities is vibrant and diverse. Whether you prefer bustling clubs, cozy bars, or live music venues, there is something for everyone. Cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam or The Hague are the most well renowned for their nightlife in Netherlands.
  • Meetup groups, professional organizations and language exchange events: Websites like Meetup, Couchsurfing, InterNations and others offer a variety of group activities based on shared interests. Though they are not dating apps, they offer ways to expand ones social circle, which is important to having a healthy dating life. Language exchange events are common and are a great way to meet locals and other travelers alike. Who knows, maybe your soul mate is traveling through. Regardless, this can be a more relaxed and natural way to meet Dutch singles with no expectations.
  • Sports Clubs and Outdoor Activities: Europeans love their sports and outdoor activities. Joining a local sports club or participating in activities such as hiking, cycling, or skiing trips can be a fun way to meet Dutch singles.
  • Volunteering: Volunteering for local causes or events can provide a meaningful way to connect with others and contribute to the Dutch community.
  • Through Friends and Acquaintances: Often, meeting new people can be as simple as getting to know the friends of your friends. Do not be shy about asking to be introduced. However, exercise caution about dating friends of friends as this can sometimes jeopardize your friendships.
  • Online Dating: If all else fails, there is always online dating to save the day. Online dating has become increasingly popular in Netherlands in recent years. Major websites and apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and local platforms like Meetic in France, Lovoo in Germany, and Badoo, which is popular in many southern and eastern European countries, can all help you connect with local Dutch singles.

Is it safe to date people in Netherlands?

Life in Netherlands is generally quite safe. There are always bad neighborhoods or less safe crowds, but general in large cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam or The Hague, safety should hopefully not be a major concern in normal circumstances. That being said, here are some tips which can help you to stay safe while dating in Netherlands:

Facades of Amsterdam
  • Lookup your date: If you have any doubts about the person, perhaps do a quick online search to verify their identity. If you find they have some presence on professional networks or social media you can review their profiles.
  • Choose a reputable dating platform: There are many different dating apps, use a trusted and reliable app or website that requires identity verification. These apps can help weed out fake profiles and scammers with their powerful AI metrics.
  • Use the messaging service on the dating app: In many cases, it is safer to use the messaging service provided by the dating site until you are comfortable sharing your contact details. This is because dating companies have a record of your chat but also because you can easily disconnect with someone should you feel uncomfortable.
  • Keep personal information private: In general, you should never share sensitive information like your financial details, address for where you live or other private information with someone you have just met. This can be more true with someone you met online.
  • Tell someone about your plans: It can be a good practice to tell a trusted friend or family member your dating plans. For example, where you are going, who you are meeting, and when you expect to return. If they do not hear from you by that time, then you can call to check on you. You can also ask them to call at a certain time to check on you.
  • Meet in public: On your first few dates, meet in a public place like a café or a park where there are plenty of people around. In a cities like Amsterdam, Rotterdam or The Hague, it should be quite easy to find a nice public space.
  • Stay sober: If you drink alcohol on your first date, consider limiting your intake at first to ensure that you really get to know the person and are fully aware of your surroundings. Because alcohol can impair your judgment, it is safer to drink less when you first get to know someone.
  • Trust your gut: Our instincts often know more than we give them credit for. If something feels off or too good to be true, it probably is. Trust your instincts and do not feel obliged to stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Remove yourself from a bad situation when it feels right to do so.
  • Safe sex: Safe sex is smart sex. If you decide to become intimate with your date, remember to practice safe sex. This includes using protection and getting regular check-ups for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Remember, safety first. It is important to take precautions and use common sense when dating in Netherlands, whether online or offline.

Dating scams in Netherlands

Every day across the digital world, dating scams prey upon lonely and naive people online. This is just as true in Netherlands as it is anywhere else in the world. Dating scams online are rampant and can happen to anyone. It is always a good practice to be careful and approach online dating in Netherlands with caution.

Getting to know someone new, whether in real life or digitally, can and should be a fun process. It is important to build trust and use good judgement before sharing personal details.

In terms of dating scams specific to Netherlands, we do not currently know any. However, across the world these common dating scams which are widely reported on dating apps and websites:

  • Catfishing: One of the most common is simply catfishing. Catfishing is essentially when someone presents themself as someone else using fake profile information, stolen or altered photos. Usually, they will use attractive pictures to lure in a person, but in reality they are quite different.
  • Gift Scams: After forming a relationship with you, scammers might ask for expensive gifts or money to buy such gifts for you. Once the gifts or money are received, they will disappear.
  • Advanced Fee Fraud: If you check your spam inbox you will likely see a few emails like this. Most commonly, they come from countries West African countries like Ghana or Nigeria, but can originate from anywhere. Usually the scammer forms a relationship with the victim and then asks for money to help them access a large sum of money they have supposedly inherited but cannot access. If it sounds to good to be true, then it usually is.4
  • Military Scams: In these scams, fraudsters pose as Dutch military personnel who are serving overseas or outside of Netherlands. They form a relationship with the victim and then ask for money, often claiming that it is for a leave application, medical expenses, or other fabricated reasons.

This is not an all inclusive list of dating scams. Scammers are constantly coming up with new ways to take advantage of people. Be vigilant.

Online dating in Netherlands

The state of online dating in Netherlands is an interesting one. The digital transformation of Europe and adoption of social technologies has definitely impacted the way that modern Dutch date along their single journey.

Unlike Africa, where growth in the online dating industry has been slow, many Europeans were early adopters to the dating industry. In fact, some of the oldest online dating websites are European.

With a population of around 17.3 million5, there are plenty of Dutch singles to support online dating platforms. Though many Dutch are more open to the idea of online dating in Netherlands, cultural and historical influences still impact the Dutch dating scene today.

How has online dating been effective

Dutch are generally quite open to multiculturalism. After all, “Unity in diversity” is one of the core tenants of the European Union. Since Netherlands is a member of the European Union, Dutch are likely to place value in this ideal.

Keeping this in mind, dating apps are great ways to meet people from different backgrounds. The reason is because there are opportunities to meet people outside of your personal social network or social circles. People living on the border with Germany and Belgium might even find a match abroad.

Most dating apps and websites are quite accessible to Dutch. Though not every dating app will localize for Dutch, some apps will, especially large international dating apps.

While not all Dutch are affluent, the majority can afford technology. Most young Dutch will have at least smart phone or computer, which will give them access to a dating app or dating site respectively.

Another important reason why online dating is somewhat popular is because casual relationships are typically normal in mainstream Dutch culture. Though individual Dutch will have personal preferences, social dating is very common across Netherlands and the greater European region. Views towards premarital sex, marriage, and romantic relationships are generally quite fluid among Dutch.

However, religious Dutch may hold more traditional beliefs or practices. Particularly, native European Christians, Jews and Muslims or even immigrants living in Netherlands may choose do date or marry within their respective community to preserve and adhere to their cultural roots.

Challenges with online dating in Europe

Though Dutch are increasingly more open to online dating, the industry in Netherlands is not without its challenges. Here are a few considerations which may help to explain why online dating in Dutch might not be popular with all single daters.

First, dating apps are often viewed as superficial and lacking substance. Dutch tend to be cultured and give great importance to social interactions. Since many dating apps like Tinder, are focused on a hot or not concept, they are not overly appealing to many Dutch. Instead of judging someone purely on their outward physical appearance, Dutch are looking for deeper value and connection from a potential partner. Though Tinder may not offer this, other apps like Hinge do. Therefore, certain dating apps may be more popular than others in Netherlands.

Second, there are security concerns with online dating and American tech companies in general. In addition to the number of popular online dating scams in circulation, data privacy is major concern for Dutch. After all, Europe led the charge with their insistence of the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) law which forced all tech companies to comply. Though we think this is a great thing for consumers, it presents a challenge for tech companies who have a history of collecting large amounts of personal data on their users. This is especially in online dating where lots of personal information might be exchanged.

Third, another obstacle for online dating in Netherlands is the fact that it is already quite easy for Dutch to meet other singles. Dutch spend a lot of time walking around or in commute. In addition, Netherlands has a relatively vibrant night life and social scene. Dutch singles can easily meet in a cafe or any other public setting. Therefore there is lack of need when compared to North American countries like the United States or Canada.

Another important and subtle challenge for online dating in Netherlands is the simple fact that it has an aging population. While regions like Africa, Latin America and parts of Asia have young and growing populations, the population in Europe is actually in decline. As of 2020, the median age in Europe was 42.5, while 43 in Dutch.6

While this list of challenges for online the dating industry in Netherlands is not inclusive, these four points highlight some of the obstacles dating apps might face there.

Top dating apps in Netherlands

As we have just discussed, online dating in Netherlands is a relatively mature industry. Most Dutch, have likely tried a dating app or website in Netherlands at least once. It is possible that they used the app while living abroad or perhaps they wanted to meet other local Dutch singles. Regardless, there are a number of popular dating apps in Netherlands.

As European markets tend to be viable, most dating site and app companies have localized their apps into Dutch or at least other languages which Dutch might commonly speak. Therefore, knowledge of dating apps and how to use them, is usually strong.

That being said, here are the top dating apps in Netherlands:

  • Badoo – a popular dating app in most of European countries.
  • Bumble – a niche dating app where Dutch women have the ability to make the first move.
  • Happn – a dating app that functions based off of your daily location and who you might cross paths with in real life
  • Tinder – traditionally one of the more popular dating apps in Europe, definitely in terms of brand recognition


1 European views on homosexuality:

2 & 3 Dutch views on sexual orientation and homosexuality

4 Popular dating scams as it relates to Netherlands:

5 Population by country:

6 European median age, and median age for Netherlands